In my pain,You are there. In my joy,You are there. As I dance,You are there. In the moments when I just want to run away,You are there. In my car as I leave work in tears,You are there. During the hard conversations filled with countless questions,You are there. In my room when I feel alone,You are there.As I try to hold it all together,You are there.In the decisions that must be made,You are there.In my words as I pray,You are there.As I try to understand,You are there.As I see Your truth surrounding me,You are there.In my doubts of where I am suppose to be,You are there.In Your patience that covers me,You are there.As I try to grasp what Your calling is for me,You are there.As I hear the lies that bring confusion,You are there.In the moments that I continue to trust,You are there.During times of actively pursuing wisdom and understanding,You are there.In the stillness as I listen,You are there.As I cling onto the Scriptures that I proclaim over my life,You are there.In the unexplainable peace that I walk in,You are there.As I long to see Your glory,You are there.
The words shared above are a part of a journal entry I wrote over four years ago. I was walking through a season that I constantly felt like I was alone. I can confidently say that my depression was dictating every decision I made. I felt hopeless as I continued serving, but the truth was my heavenly Father was present with every step I took. As a leader in student ministry, you give without hesitation because of how much you care. You are always available because of the responsibility you have accepted, and you’ll quickly wipe away any tears before someone can spot them. You feel like you always have to be on. Your immediate response to someone is, “I’m fine, but just so busy.” You try to balance the reality of serving while maintaining survival mode, but that often means you will stop getting invited to do activities with friends or people may just stop reaching out to you.
With the combination of all of these factors, we begin to accept the lie that we are alone. The outcome of accepting lies is that we dwell, ponder, and overthink every single detail of our life. Sometimes we become easily offended, maybe we become jealous because of the opportunities we think we are missing out on, or we become distant instead of being present in the lives that surround us.
Sweet sister, this type of living is not what our heavenly Father desires for you. He has called us to have life that is described as immeasurably more, which means even in this season of loneliness you still have a specific purpose and calling on your life. No matter what your current circumstance may be, you are not truly alone. We see this promise shared over and over again throughout Scripture.
Deuteronomy 31:8—“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
Joshua 1:9—“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
John 14:27—“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
My challenge and encouragement to you in this season would be to be obedient, continue trusting, and to take courage. Remember that fear has no position in your life when you have been given a spirit of power, love, and self-control. Walk boldly in the calling that has been placed before you, and be confident in knowing that you are not alone.
Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Kelly McKinley serves on staff at First Baptist Church in Hendersonville, Tennessee. She loves iced lattes and is constantly in the mood for a random road trip. Her heartbeat for the gospel has lead her to ministry opportunities from Haiti to Memphis and many places in between, focusing mostly on reaching young women in the Nashville area. Her past is one that has been scattered with grief, loss, anxiety, and depression but has been captivated by our need for Jesus in a world where these ailments run rampant. Only by the grace of God is she now able to encourage individuals to be confident in knowing that life is truly worth living. Her heart’s desire is to point others to Christ while they are grieving in grace.
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