I don’t like to fail. There, I said it. That nagging desire to succeed has led to ample fear in my life. I have feared coloring outside the lines in art class, losing a friend, not having the right words to say, disappointing my boss, having a super awkward girl’s event, and the big one—I have feared failing God.
I don’t know your current relationship with fear of failure, but let's walk through this together! Here are five ways I've learned to help battle my fear of failure in life and ministry:
Redefine “Failure”
Thomas Edison once said, “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” We tend to avoid the idea of failing at all costs, but what if we shifted the narrative and said we weren’t failing but learning? As followers of Jesus, we are constantly in the process of being sanctified – of growing to look more like Jesus. I think of people in the Bible like Peter, David, and Paul who, by worldly standards, “failed,” but these moments in their stories were just opportunities for them to learn how to better walk with Jesus.
“Release the Balloon”
I have often heard the expression “release the balloon” after giving a Wednesday night message. This phrase means that when something has passed, let it go! How often has a message, conversation, or situation been on replay in our minds long after it ends, and we pick apart what we perceive as mistakes? We fixate on things we cannot change instead of letting it go, instead of “releasing the balloon.” When we find ourselves drifting back to those fears we can’t seem to let go of, we should instead pray to the Lord to release them into HIS hands, as Philippians 4:6 calls us to do.
See the Harm in the “What If’s”
In counseling, we often discuss my fear of failure. My counselor always says, “You need to quit living in the wreckage of your future.” That means stop letting your fears of your future become your expectations and live in that fear. This leads me to Matthew 6:34, “Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (CSB) Don’t fear failure in situations that may or may not ever come!
Be Vulnerable with Your Community
I can’t begin to count how many times I have sat down for coffee with a friend, tears stinging my eyes, as I tell them about my fears and perceived failures. I’m so grateful when they listen, giving me a space to feel heard and gracefully reminding me of the truth I need to hear. Fellow believers can provide encouragement and accountability as we navigate each day and even as we face our fears head-on. We have friends who will graciously remind us we are called to be strong and courageous!
Keep an “Audience of One” Mentality
Galatians 1:10 (CSB) states, “For am I now trying to persuade people, or God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” I often find that I am more afraid of pleasing the people around me than fixing my eyes on the Lord and seeing what He has called me to do! If we look to the world to tell us we are succeeding or failing, that is taking in an overwhelming amount of opinions and expectations that we can never live up to. Sometimes, I fear failing people because I don’t want to tarnish their opinion of me, but people’s applause will always fade. I find so much freedom in reminding myself that my desire should be to please the Lord and keep an audience of one mentality.
So, dear friend, if you fear failure, I want to remind you that you are not alone in that battle! A beautiful reminder is that our identity is found in Christ, not in what we determine are our successes or failures. Instead of fixating on our fears, let’s keep our eyes on our Savior!