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“What if I can’t sit with my friends at lunch?” “What if she makes fun of my makeup?” “I got cut from the team. I’m a failure.” “I made a C on a test. I’ll never get into college.”
This is a small window into the mind of a teenage girl. Similar thoughts swirl in her head as she heads back to school. In a world of athletics, academics, and social media, teen girls face real pressures, leading to such thoughts. My aim is to use God’s Word to help us disciple girls in regards to the “what ifs” and other such thoughts as given above. How can we, using God’s Word, equip teen girls to battle anxious thoughts?
Some girls battle deeper, darker worries. With these, God’s Word can help, but also don’t hesitate to connect them with a professional, Biblical counselor or other help if needed. My aim is to use God’s Word to help us disciple girls in regards to the “what ifs” and other such thoughts as given above.
The first step is to help girls recognize wrong thoughts. They may have a million in a given day. Any “what if,” exaggeration, or something that isn’t true is a wrong thought, as it disobeys Philippians 4:8 (which we’ll discuss later). The initial thought isn’t the problem, but it’s what we do with it. Using Philippians 4:6-9, let’s teach our girls to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor. 10:5).
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:6-9 (ESV)
"Don't be anxious" is an easy command to understand, but it is so hard to actually living it out. It’s vital we teach girls what God’s Word says about anxiety without diminishing I’m not diminishing anxiety or its effects. I’ve seen firsthand the real physical and emotional toll anxiety can have on a person. I’ve also seen how anxiety can be overcomed through obedience to this passage (along with potential counseling and other help, as needed). This is a command given by God in His Word, so we must take it seriously.
Pray about everything, with thanksgiving.
God is so gracious, that He doesn’t stop with the initial command. He knows we’ll struggle with this, so He continues with ways to fight this battle. The first way is with prayer. Encourage girls to be specific with God. Personally, throughout a long adoption process, move, and miscarriage, I learned the best way to battle wrong thoughts was to be specific with God about what was causing worry and why. With each specific thing, I thanked God for how He’d work in the future. Girls may be fearful to be so honest with God. Remind them God is bigger than any emotion or problem they may face, and He loves them so much that He wants to hear from them!
Be guarded by peace.
In my deepest times of worry, the combination of specific prayer and thanksgiving has led to the deepest peace of the Lord. Prayer isn’t a magical fix, but as we practice these things (as commanded in verse 9), God promises to guard our hearts and minds with his peace.
Think rightly.
We must help girls to train their minds to think in the way God’s Word commands us to think. Verse 8 gives a list of things we’re to think about. When a wrong thought comes, go through this list, thinking about characteristics of God that could apply. Next, take this same list and think about things in regards to the thought/situation. Here are some examples:
Thought: “I made a C. I’ll never go to college,” Thinking Rightly: This isn’t true. What’s true is her standing before Christ hasn’t changed, and she can trust God’s good plans for her future.
Thought: “She made fun of my makeup. I’m ugly.” Thinking Rightly: Acknowledge the pain, but remind her this thought isn’t true, lovely, or praiseworthy. She’s fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image.
Thought: “I didn’t make the team. I’m a failure.” Thinking Rightly: Acknowledge this hurt, but help her think of the fact that, if she’s a Chrisitian, she’s been chosen in Christ (Eph. 1:4-5).
Keep practicing. This passage ends with the command to practice. This isn’t a bandaid or instant cure to all problems or wrong thoughts. In fact, there may be many times where our head knows what’s true but our heart doesn’t feel it. This is why we practice, leaning on the Lord and sisters in Christ. Praise God that He gives us the Spirit to come alongside us in this. The more we train our brain to think rightly, the more we’ll honor God with our thoughts. Also, it’s not wise to do this without sisters in Christ. As a girls ministry leader, you have a position of influence to equip girls to think rightly. When you hear their conversations, respond with words that line up with the list in verse 8. Whether in informal or formal settings, our responses counsel and disciple others. Let’s teach girls the gospel and show words that honor the Lord. In 2020, my husband battled very real anxiety that took a physical toll on his body. Since then, I’ve had my own dark days, so I speak to this as someone who’s been there. It’s a real problem, but we have a real Savior who cares for us. Again, depending on the seriousness of the situation, encourage girls to reach out to trained counselors. (If you need recommendations on where to start, reach out to your local church.)
In a world where teen girls face pressures at every turn, let’s equip them with the Word of God to think rightly so God’s peace will guard their hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.