A note from Mary Margaret West: Abby offers some solid insight on friendship from her own experiences. So many of the girls that you know are either in the midst of a friendship crisis, or aren’t far off from it. How are you pointing those girls back to Christ? Are you modeling healthy friendship? I hope that Abby’s post today is an encouragement to you as you lead.
Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord…” 1 Samuel 20:42 (NIV)
Recently, while running errands with my dad, we stopped to pick some things up from the store. As soon as we pulled into the parking lot my heart sank; it was right there in the parking lot; it was her car. My former best friend was there.
I started playing all of the scenarios in my head and started to freak out. I felt awkward and embarrassed. My dad tried to convince me that it wasn’t her car, but I knew it was. I had been her friend, I knew it was her. As soon as we exited our car I saw her walking directly toward me. Every ounce of my soul wanted to turn and hide before she saw me, but before I could think I yelled her name. I would have done the same at any other time while we were friends. She came over to me, clearly not wanting to talk.
We exchanged polite salutations, but none of the inside jokes that we formed during our friendship. I felt more like I had ran into my gastroenterologist a week after my colonoscopy and less like I was reunited with my dear friend. My heart went from sinking to breaking. I could not come up with anything to say or questions to ask her, because I was so caught up in this moment of pure discomfort. We said goodbye and side hugged. She went on her merry way and I went inside the store with my dad.
As an introvert, it can be hard to maintain meaningful relationships. However, I actually thought I entered into a covenant friendship. In the likes of Jonathan and David. Thelma and Louise. Lucy and Ethel. Laverne and Shirley. Meredith and Christina. The kind of friendship where you’ve gone into battle or driven over cliffs. Eaten excessive amounts of chocolate. Lived together and survived plane crashes. This is the kind of friendship I had. I finally found my person. I found my person in a world full of people that I believed could not possibly be mine. I certainly could not be theirs.
We had the same interests and the same love for a television show meant for old women. We both loved Jesus. We were both in desperate need for community and we connected. I went from feeling obscure to feeling completely in context. She made me feel normal. I had a friend, like every young female should have. As far as I knew, iron was truly sharpening iron.
As time went on, our schedules got busier, it was harder to stay connected. We went from seeing each other three times a week to once a week. Then having great intentions of making plans, but never following through. We would text and apologize to each other for not making a better effort. However, we really never made a better effort. That was it. There was no big fight or falling out. It was just two people together for the season God had intended. There is no hard feelings or hatred. Just one girl left a little heart sad in the parking lot of a store and the other completely unaware of the impact of that moment.
I challenge all of us to go to war for our friendships. Pray miraculous prayers over your friends and your relationships. God MUST be what binds us together. When we are friends with someone it is more than just saying “Hey, you bug me the least, I guess you’ll do.” No, it is saying “I love you. I adopt you as my family. I will go to the ends of the earth for you.” Jesus is our example of friendship that is exactly what He did for us.
Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord…” 1 Samuel 20:42 (NIV)
As a self-described introvert, Abby Underwood has struggled with social anxieties her whole life. Once she fully realized her value in Christ, she overcame the challenges of loneliness and stress that had dominated her relationships. With her unique perspective of life and being pastored by some of the leading pastors in small group development and church planting, Abby determined to use her life experience to make a difference. Her new found joy and freedom fueled Abby’s passion to help girls find their identity in Christ. To encourage high school and college aged girls to step out of their self-limiting boxes and become world changers, she created the service group, Girls Leading and Simply Serving (GLASS). Abby works as a member of the social media team and student ministry at Life.Church Hendersonville. Connect with Abby: Instagram // Website
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